Second Half of the Journey

I am now six months out since surgery and am doing well. I've lost 57 lbs and am feeling great.  It's the little things that pleasantly surprise me like crossing my legs comfortably, sitting Indian style without losing the feeling in my legs, not feeling the seat belt pinching me and not feeling out of breath after taking a brisk walk. Recently we had to take an unexpected long car trip. We took my car, which is small, with three passengers and all our luggage. I was surprised how much easier it is to travel when you weigh less. I was able to move around and change positions so I didn't get stiff and achy. Of course, heated seats are also a great invention. There are still the constant reminders of the pounds left behind too. I still have to wear long enough shirts, sweaters and jackets to cover my tummy because of the flab. I get a view of the sag all over each morning and evening as I'm dressing.  I still have to search to find the right fit because now as my behind and legs are slimmer I still have a lot left in the middle so finding the right pant isn't always easy. Most of my shoes are now too large. I have had to buy inserts and shoe liners to keep from losing my shoes when I walk. Sometimes when I touch my shoulders I feel my shoulder bones, which is weird. Sometimes I feel skinny until I put on clothes that are too tight and then I realize just how far from skinny I really am.

Mentally I still think like a fat person most of the time. I still love food, think about it hours before its time to eat, love to watch cooking shows and looking at food pictures and recipes. Even though I know I will not be able to eat much, I still want the experience to be delightful. My husband says food isn't that important any more, but I haven't felt that way. In some ways it's more important because if I'm only able to hold a few bites, I want them to be delicious. When I'm sick I also still think like the old me. I always feel like food will make me feel better even though the last time I ate I felt nauseated.

My hair has stopped thinning. Lucky for me I have thick hair so it really wasn't noticeable. Taking vitamins continues to be a challenge. Sometimes it's just hard to remember. Until a few weeks ago I was doing well exercising. During the holidays I didn't make it much to the gym or outdoors for a walk. I'm not stressing much about it as long as I'm doing what I need to be healthy. It's not something I hate as much anymore. It's so much easier to exercise now. However I know I'm not going to be a boot camp exerciser or a runner. I hate both of those.

I am on the second half of my journey and look forward to reaching and maintaining my goal of 100lb  weight loss and a size 10.