Life has become a blur again since I have started back to work so blogging has taken a back seat. I'm nearly 12 weeks post-op and doing well. Doing well is not without challenges and many lessons to be learned to prevent doing stupid things repeatedly. It's hard to believe experiencing pain and sickness doesn't prevent you from repeating the same mistakes. As time progresses, food begins to have a different meaning in my life. I am no longer addicted to Mexican food as I was before. I still like it but no longer crave it. Foods I used to love and crave make me sick thinking about them at times. Watching cooking shows where they prepare heavy, large portion dishes are repulsive at times. I guess that is a good thing, but I do miss the enjoyment of eating as much as I want without that sudden feeling that says stop. I don't feel as frustrated with it as I did earlier, but I can't say I have enjoyed eating even one time like I did before my surgery. I guess people who have other addictions probably miss those when they quit as well. Changing bad habits is hard even when you are somewhat forced to change. Making the same mistakes over and over is proof to me I am fighting the change. One mistake has been eating chicken prepared certain ways that I once loved, now cause me pain and sickness, even throwing up at times. I hope I have learned that lesson now. Another mistake, made even last night was thinking I could eat more later since I was not able to eat all I wanted at a meal. We ate Japanese food last night and I wanted more than I could hold so I brought home leftovers. As soon as I got home I felt like I could eat a little more and began to eat the leftovers. When will I learn? I was in terrible pain. The food was stuck. I felt nauseated, but I couldn't throw up. I paced the floor, hurt and even thought at one point I was going to pass out. The room was spinning. Jerry just kept saying "I told you so". I told him the next time I started to do something that stupid he needed to knock me out. I never want to experience that again. It lasted at least an hour.
Challenges are to be expected, but challenges also bring successes. I've now lost 34lbs and am feeling "light". Ha ha, I am almost the same weight as my 6ft 4in tall hubby. In the past being fat wasn't so bad because Jerry was always fat with me and at least a 100 lbs heavier than me. After his surgery he weighed a lot less than me which was depressing since he is more than a foot taller than I am. Now I am 3lbs heavier than him and hopefully getting below his weight will be a quick success. People are beginning to notice my weight loss and that's exciting. It's funny some people ( only those not on FB) still don't know I had surgery. Last week I was at another school doing a walk through and someone I knew from the past saw me and kept saying "you look so good" and just kept looking at me as if she were trying to figure out why. It's been awhile since I've seen her so I wasn't sure she knew why I looked different, she just noticed a change. When you are at least 100lbs overweight it takes a lot of weight loss before its immediately obvious that you have changed drastically. I'm looking forward to the time when people see me and are instantly shocked. Since shedding pounds we've had a couple of fire drills at school. During a drill the principal and I walk the school to check to make sure everyone is out. In the past I was breathing hard and my feet and back were always hurting by the time we made it back to the front of the school. This year I feel so much lighter and still have plenty of breath when I finish the fast trek around the school. Now it's difficult to find something in my closet that isn't baggy. It's so hard to shop now because I'm already dying to buy tons of clothes, but am just trying to buy enough to get by as I hopefully wiz through this size to a smaller size. I can't wait until I get to the point I can go crazy buying all the cute "non-plus size" clothes I've always wanted to wear. I keep joking saying no one will have a clue what style of clothing I like because I plan to buy every style I've ever liked because I can. I may be dressed classic style one day and funky the next. The possibilities are exciting.
Despite the challenges of gastric bypass surgery so far the successes outweigh the challenges. I worried because I wouldn't be able to take NSAID drugs such as Advil or Motrin because I had lots of aches and pains. So many of the aches and pains are gone already with only 34 lbs lost. My right hip used to hurt everyday. I rarely notice the pain any more. The reduction in front and, how shall I say it?, "chest weight" makes moving around so much easier. Now my T-Rex arms can actually stretch across the front of my body. There are so many little, everyday blessings and challenges but I'm happy with the results so far.
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